Death to the birds.

Today was a victorious day. My man and my boy (cat) successfully worked as a team to take down a bird.

Now before I get any animal-rights-type people all up in a tizzy, let me give you the background story.

Last summer, there was a family of birds in our tree. They were BEYOND annoying. They chirped and tweeted and squawked and made all sorts of ungodly noises. Not only were they obnoxious and noisy, but they were targeting my cat. They would tease him, perching just out of his reach, and screech at him. We were all annoyed beyond description. The cat somehow managed to snag a baby bird – with no claws – and as you can imagine, the birds were FURIOUS. After this transgression, the birds increased their assault by 100-fold. If you can even imagine that. The Mad Hatter tried and tried his hardest to hit a bird with his slingshot (yes…he definitely has his redneck side :P), but to no avail.Finally, to our relief, the bird season ended, and the birds disappeared.

Well, this year, they came back with a vengeance. I assume they have been harboring memories of the cat and the evil that he wrought upon their family. Theses birds have been NON-STOP. They are louder than before, and they shit all over my porch railing. Twice in the past week I have unintentionally stuck my hand in it. NASTY. Then, the other day, I was walking with a friend and A BIRD ATTACKED ME. Serious. It flew right at my head, and almost hit me. I swear. Even people sitting nearby commented on the fact that the bird had targeted me and tried to kill me. But there was more. A couple hours later, my darling cat was super excited to see me and ran out of the house to greet me. (He is SO sweet like that – I’m sure it has NOTHING to do with the fact that I provide him with food at that time each day.) As he was on his way down the walk, a bird dive-bombed him, and THAT BIRD HIT my cat!!!!! I have never been so furious. I yelled at it and chased it away. Not only are the birds annoying as fuck, but now they have taken it to a new level and they are getting PHYSICAL. I have never heard of birds being so physically aggressive before. These birds have a personal vendetta against my cat and our family.

So, now that you understand the justification…

The birds were out in full-force today, and it being a weekend and all, The Mad Hatter has had plenty of time to practice his sharpshooting skills. Just now I heard a cry of victory, and my man excitedly calling my cat. Yup, he nailed one! Shot that thar bird right out of the gosh-darn tree. The cat went running and with a meowl of delight, he grabbed up that bird. And guess what he did – of course! – he brought it right into the house, squawking and screeching and flapping and flopping. GROOOOOOSSSS! We made him keep it outside, though he kept trying to bring it back inside. (What is up with that?!?!?) Finally, the bird was done. *sniff* And it was sad to see it hurting and then dead.

Honestly, I’m not a bad person. I don’t know why I even looked at it…it made me sad and I felt sorry for the bird. But I just tell myself that it was the very same dirty foul that HIT my poor little kitty, and IT SO DESERVED IT. However you look at it…it was a day of victory for my man and my cat! They successfully teamed up and showed those nasty birds a thing or two. Let’s hope they learn something from this and don’t decide to up the ante any more – my head and my cat can’t take too much more persecution!


~ by beyondalice on July 12, 2009.

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